EDDIE: I don't really have anything to say. Keep me in here. Look, I don't spend a lot of time in boardrooms. Why don't we adjourn this meeting to a place we're a little more familiar with, hmm?

(inside the men's restroom)

Alright, come on, come on, everybody in. Ladies too, don't be shy, don't be shy. Now, I want you all to go into those stalls and close the door. Come on, double up if you have to, close the door. I'd like you in this one right over here.

MILT: Jonathan, this better be good.

EDDIE: Okay, that's right. Go in, take a seat. Take a seat and close the doors. Excellent. Now, at Harvard, we call this "field research." Milt, will you please tell us what you see in front of you.

MILT: A door.

EDDIE: A Malkan door. And what else?

MILT: Who the hell wrote this?

EDDIE: Come on, what does it say?

MILT: Milt Malkan is full of hot air.

EDDIE: Now that is an advertising message. Not necessarily the message we're trying to get across, but a message. You see, the average person spends seven and a half minutes of every day staring at the back of a bathroom door. And we can write anything we want on 18% of those bathroom doors sold in America. Why? 'cause we make 'em. That's seven and a half minutes of every day, 365 days a year for an average lifespan of 72 years. That's 3,280 hours of a captive audience at a time they are most open to new ideas. Because we all know that your major life decisions aren't made in the boardroom. No. They're made in the bathroom.