Cher: (I don’t know why Dion’s going out with a high school boy. They’re like dogs. You have to clean them and feed them and they’re just like these nervous creatures that jump and slobber all over you.)

Eww. Gget off of me. Uhh. As if.

Mr. Hull: Should all oppressed people be allowed refuge in America? Amber will take the con position. Cher will be pro. Cher, two minutes.

Cher: So, OK, like right now, for example, the Haitians need to come to America. But some people are all, "What about the strain on our resources?"

But it's like when I had this garden party for my father's birthday, right? I said R.S.V.P. because it was a sit-down dinner. But people came that, like, did not R.S.V.P. So I was, like, totally buggin'. I had to haul ass to the kitchen, redistribute the food, squish in extra place settings; but by the end of the day it was, like, the more the merrier!

And so, if the government could just get to the kitchen, rearrange some things, we could certainly party with the Haitians.

And in conclusion, may I please remind you that it does not say R.S.V.P. on the Statue of Liberty.

Thank you very much.

Mr. Hull: Uh, Amber? A reply?

Amber: Mr. Hull, how can I answer that? The topic is Haiti and she's talking about some little party!

Cher: Hello?! It was his 50th birthday!

Amber: Whatever. If she doesn't do the assignment, I can't do mine.