On Wednesday I was getting a little bit concerned because hadn't actually done a lot about writing a speech, so um, I was trying to think of some ways to get some inspiration. Um, I spent the next couple of hours surfing the internet, and found some really great stuff, you know what I mean? Now let's not talk about that in this speech.

They say that the best man speech should last as long as it takes for the groom to make love. Fair enough. [walks off stage].

Like any twin brothers we've had many good times together but we've also been very competitive and when we were younger we did use to fight quite a lot as kids. I'm sure my parents would vouch for. It actually got to a point where they were really at their wits end - they didn't know what to do about me beating Rich up all the time. So they decided to send us off to boarding school - so we went the way of Oakham - and many qualities were developed there: good looks, style, sophistication, a way with the ladies - fortunately Rich wasn't too jealous of them.

But this isn't really what today is about - today is really about Rich and the love of his life, horse racing. (laughter) For those of you who don't believe me, you obviously haven't heard he's taking <> to the World <> for their Honeymoon. Naturally she was a little bit against the idea, but she managed to talk her around by buying her a hat.

They say marriage is made in heaven, well this one was made in Madonna's waterloo. Most people go to Madonna's when they want something quick, cheap and easy...